#17. Maybe the reason you find zoom calls tiring is because you're a big baby who just wants attention, aren't you, aren't you a big baby!!
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Hi everyone!
Heads up that there are some babies in this one. Also blood (unconnected, fortunately).
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Out of last week's newsletter, I got quite interested in these videos. It's a video of a young child encountering some emotional difficulty so be aware of that when/if choosing to watch it.
If you're worried about the children β I wouldn't be. The researcher makes it a little clearer at the end of the second video, that these sorts of experiences are a normal part of infant life, and provided they stay at a tolerable level they're part of learning and growth. (But also if you have a baby around probably don't just start doing this deliberately.)
That said, the first one in particular is quite striking! It's got me thinking all week about not only what it's like to be a baby, but also responsiveness in human relationships generally. It sounds obvious but different degrees of responsiveness really do feel different.
One of the things that struck me was the child's pointing as a way to initiate contact. I notice sometimes I get into the habit of, when walking with someone, just verbally pointing things out. It's not quite as bad as "that is a shop, that is a hat-stand, that is a car," etc but it's not far off. I also invented this game which I've played with e and a few others, and which I find endlessly amusing:
(It's funnier in real life I promise)
But the next jump is β unresponsive interactions feel quite tiring don't they? When you're interacting, but you don't feel responded to, either because they're not interested in you, or it's not about you, or they're distracted or far away or something.
So I wonder about the 'zoom calls feel exhausting' phenomenon. There's a lot of chat about zoom fatigue and nonverbals which feels only mildly convincing. Why would a lack of nonverbal signs make you feel tired? Films don't make me feel tired, podcasts don't make me feel tired, and I've sometimes found myself after a long day of zoom calls scheduling a social zoom call which feels relaxing and fun.
Which makes me think of that pointing baby. On a zoom call, there's nothing to point at, which seems like an oblique point, but perhaps what we're looking for in these meetings is to build a responsive connection with the other attendees, and zoom robs us of a number of our normal techniques for doing this β that so often involve being in shared physical space.Β
But some relationships, people, and social contexts are less affected by this problem. What's special about them and what can we learn to make our other calls feel less exhausting?
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Do tech leaders feast on the blood of the young? I felt this might be an interesting avenue to dig into in this newsletter, but it turns out that the answer is a pretty straightforward yes. Boring.
One of my other favourite 'tech gone wild' stories is from the early 90s, when they tried to put a billboard in orbit around earth. It would have been around half the apparent size of the moon, and I imagine you'd just use it to put up the Nike swoosh or something so every person on the planet gets exposure to your logo.
What makes me laugh is that when they started getting flak for it, they came up with some now obviously quite flimsy scientific aspects:
Recently, Lawson has tried to redefine the project as a scientific venture, playing down its commercial aspects. Press releases from Space Marketing refer to the βenvironmental billboard,β and point out that it will be fitted with ozone-measuring sensors that will continue to function long after the advertisement has disintegrated.
So transparent. It took me a moment to remember how big a deal ozone was back then!
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This video is cool and freaky. I was told to watch it full screen and I think that was a good idea. I want to live there.
Perhaps related: can you turn an abstract sphere inside out? Yes.
Have a great week!
K